Friends tell us they appreciate our "being real" on FB and, frankly, I appreciate the opportunity. It seems to help me process, and I genuinely hope to be a TRUE help and encouragement (rather than a false hope) to others who are now grieving, or may someday traverse these bloodstained battlegrounds for themselves. That said, let me tell you that while we may appear to have it all together at times in our posts, we have been two deer caught in the headlights for the entire past two years. Scratch that. Make that two brain-damaged, shell-shocked and wobbly-kneed deer caught in the headlights. I tell people I am just not wired the same anymore. My mind still functions the same in some ways (thank God!); in other ways, Karen and I both are like studies in early onset senility. I think most people hear that, say, "uh-huh," but don't REALLY hear it and believe. Well, let me tell ya . . . Like the lady says, " It's a REAL THING." Melanie, in her exceptionally insightful blog, thelifeididntchoose, reposts this piece every so often, because it is so important to us grieving folks that our peeps understand there really IS a physiological basis for our weirdness! The last couple weeks of stress, in particular, have been like a continuous battering ram to the gut. The wind is out of the sails, the flag is at half-mast or lower, and I keep catching my "stiff upper lip" dragging along the pavement behind me at snail's pace. Yet, our faith is real. Yes, we DO keep putting our eyes back on the Lord, and His Grace IS sufficient (and then some!). But if I'm "being real," I won't insult you by letting you think for a moment that we are still perfectly intact, still the same high-functioning polished professionals, and this doesn't hurt like the dickens. Thanks once again for so many true friends who are willing leave their own sunshine to step into our gray and musty shadowlands and abide there a while with us. THAT is what I call true AGAPE love. And I, for one, love YOU for it.
https://thelifeididntchoose.com/2017/02/22/grief-brain-its-a-real-thing/